Now strangely for me I was having a reasonably okay day. Nothing majorly exciting had happened, nor had anything particularly bad happened. It started off with what should have made it difficult for me as I was made to start work at 9am rather than my usual 12pm which meant not only an early start but a change to my exercise schedule. But yet I didn't let this get to me. Even when I missed my planned later Body Pump session in the evening because I fell asleep! Yet I still wasn't that upset! Okay yes I had done Level's Two and Three of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred so I had my exercise fix but my exercise addiction tells me it's crucial to do Body Pump as well. But I'm slowly learning I don't need to and there's always tomorrow! (I'm actually quite proud of myself for being able to write that! Let's just hope I keep that saying in my head the next time I miss a session.)
Another thing that should have really wound myself up is that after agreeing to finally have a coffee with my friend Fe (Conditioning instructor at the Gym). You see she can only do Monday's and where I'm always usually working the 12pm-5pm shift at work I can't normally fit this in! So for once I saw my early finish of 2pm to be the perfect opportunity to finally have a long overdue catch up with her! Of course you can probably guess what was coming... she cancelled. I almost knew it straight from the text she sent me first thing this morning saying she 'might' be going shopping with her friend. Then her Mum needed to be taken into town and plus she said she had problems with low energy due to having a bad day yesterday and meditation not working or some other long winded reason that I've lost all ability to keep up. I wish sometimes people would just be striaght sometimes and say they don't fancy meeting up. But you know what I didn't let this bother me either and just used it as an excuse to go home. I really did not want to let anything bring me down!
Even the fact that I had the most unproductive evening of my life didn't phase me. You think having come home from work at two, finished all my exercise for the day by half three and watched all the TV I wanted to catch up with by four. I would have been more productive with the mountain of uni work I had. Well as you can guess of course I've done basically none of it. I just didn't have the motivation to do it, and chose the option of sleep instead. After all I chose the 'health' benefit option. Well that and then choosing to watch Hollyoaks, tomorrows Hollyoaks, rest a little more, Eastenders and then any other program that could act as a distraction. Oh well, it will get done. Maybe not when I would have liked it done by, but I certainly will make sure it's done tomorrow!
So why am I now upset? Well I guess it's all over one little comment. Yes that really is all it takes to really wind me up. I hate how I let this things get to me but I think it was the combination of what they said, who said it and the fact that someone else passed judgment on it. All when they don't truly understand my situation. Okay let me explain.Earlier this evening I wrote a tweet reading: 'Don't understand why I feel constantly so drained of energy! :(' A simple tweet expressing that I was feeling particularly tired today and do tend to reach a slump of energy at some point most days. But then again this isn't something overly unusual. I'm sure many of you can say you've had the exact same feeling before. Plus I know exactly why I'm feeling tired.
1. I was up early this morning and went to bed late too. As per but still it's def a major reason.
2. I'd been at work all day, and on days I'm not at work I'm at uni. If not both! So I'm constantly on the go!
3. I had done 40 minutes of 30 Day Shred today and that was with having been at work since crack of dawn and only had one cup of black instant coffee! Therefore hadn't had my caffeine fix either really!
So is it any wonder why I was feeling tired?! Yet everyone always decides what the reason is for me it seems. And it's constantly to do with my weight. How many times do people want to interfere?!!!! Yes, I'm well aware I'm far too skinny and underweight! But that is not the reason I am tired! So to receive a tweet reply reading: 'you don't eat enough Hun food is fuel for your body xx'. I'm sorry. What?! Who do they think they are? For starters, how do they know what I eat? They don't know my situation, especially when the person who wrote it isn't even a friend. It was my friend's Mum! Yes you read that right, her Mum! My own Mum would never dream of writing to my friends. Let alone a response like that! I think even if my own freind had written it I would be more understanding but no! How dare they accuse me of not eating enough!
Okay on the surface yes I probably do look like I starve myself, but I don't! I eat, a lot! Enough to maintain weight at least and that's considering I do exercise daily! Alright I know I should be eating to gain, and some days I do! But I'm by no means trying to keep my weight low on purpose. I'm not dieting. I'm not restricting. I'm eating! And often enjoying it too! So the fact they had the cheek to make a judgment when they don't even know me really is the frustrating part! Plus it's the fact that people just seem to make assumptions about me just from a photograph. (This woman last saw me in the Summer) So they don't know what I'm like now, or my state of mind!
To make matters worse I then noticed that another friend from when I was in secondary school and haven't seen since about two years ago then 'Favourited' my friend's Mum's tweet! Like she was in support of what they had said. Almost suggesting that they think I have a problem as well. This led to my anger being heightened even further and my fury inspire this long winded blog post having a rant yet again. Plus it also saw me quickly make a sharp response to my friend's Mum saying: 'I do eat enough! The reason I'm so tired is because I'm constantly on the go and always busy juggling uni and a 20hr week job!' I feel they should consider other reasons and not just jump to their first conclusion and immediatly think they're right! Okay I know they probably didn't mean any harm. They probably just want me to be better and see me back at full health. But it irritates me how people assume they know best when in fact they don't know me at all. They don't know me. They don't know my situation and they certainly don't know what goes on in my head. Nor my lifestyle! So sometimes I think people need to consider what they say and not jump to immediate conclusions without considering other options too.
Although I certainly know I can make up my mind before knowing all the facts. I guess in a way it's going to make me think before always just assuming things, so at least I've learnt from this. Also it makes me all the more determined to prove them wrong! Let's hope they learn their lesson too.
Emily x
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